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Mar. 27th, 2006 @ 11:52 pm (no subject)
There was this made for TV movie I once watched and this is one of the quotations from it:

"He gets more amazing the longer you know him" ~The Wedding Dress

Each time I talk to Kevin, he surprises and amazes me. I am so blessed to have him in my life.
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Mar. 22nd, 2006 @ 09:54 am BHC
On the BHC thread, Cher said "It seems like I came into the thread at a bad time, what happened to the good old days of all of us getting along by having a difference of opinion?"

That's what I'm wondering too. It seems I left an awesome thread earlier and then came back to a whole new thread. We never used to call each other names or tell each other that we were the reason for our failed love lives. People used to be able to come to the thread and say whatever they wanted b/c they knew they were going to be accepted and supported. Well, I haven't felt that way. Until that comes back, I will not be sticking around. I have messenger so if you would like to keep in contact with me, that is the best way.

I'm sorry if me coming back eventually led to problems on the thread but I am in no way apologizing for what I said. I felt like I had to stand up for myself and the people on the thread not being respected or feeling they couldn't post honestly because they weren't broken hearted. If that means me getting the heat, then so be it. The thread decline is just a shame, that's all. But I've got a life to live and I choose to focus on the positive. :)

Keep smiling! Life is too short to be anything but happy.
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Mar. 21st, 2006 @ 06:01 pm (no subject)
Today has been a great day. This morning I went to observe at my old elementary school to see the grades I haven't been able to teach yet. They were interesting but I was sad to see that the teachers did not praise good behavior.. they only really pointed out off-task behavior. I feel strongly for kids knowing and being shown attention when they are behaving. It's also a great way to show the other kids who are off-task to get back on task by using their classmates as an example. Modeling is so powerful. Observing made me realize how long it's been since I've been in elementary school. My gosh the years fly on by. In a year and a half, I'll be a teacher and working in an elementary school full time.. crazy!

This afternoon I went for a run at the local park b/c it's absolutely beautiful outside today. At school I've been running on a treadmill inside so my lungs had a hard time adjusting running outside today b/c it's much more humid down here, but oh well. I walked a lot and got some miles so I'm excited. I had my iPod so I was listening to good music and staring at the trees and the beautiful endless blue sky. I couldn't help from smiling like an idiot. I thought about my friends and how much I miss them since they are a few states away or at least a few hours, but then I realized that even though we're separated by distance, we're together in our hearts. I don't care how sappy that sounds. That is how connected we are. I miss them; they are my home.

I'm gonna go find something for dinner, get some homework done (perhaps write lesson plans) and then watch tv.. American Idol and Amazing Race. Perhaps, some more knitting. Or maybe I will watch Pride and Prejudice yet again. Damn that Matthew MacFayden is hot. Why can't all men be as good looking as him? Have a great day/night everyone :)
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Mar. 20th, 2006 @ 12:38 pm (no subject)
Some people are so frustrating. I wish they would stop being so judgmental.

Man, I miss Chris. This is stupid. I hate feeling like this.

Gonna go find something to eat then get back to knitting.
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Mar. 19th, 2006 @ 12:42 am (no subject)
Yesterday I relearned how to knit. Laurie and I basically knitted all day, which is crazy! I feel like an old lady, but oh well. We watched the miniseries North and South again and damn, I think I might be realizing why most girls like the tall, dark and handsome men. I've always been one for the blondes but lately the tall dark and handsome ones have me swooning. Oh well.. no complaints ;) This morning I got up, packed and drove home. It was raining most of the way which sucked, but I got here safely and right over 5 hours so that's good. I went to church and then did some shopping with my mom. It's been good being home so far so hopefully I'll stay happy and peaceful while I'm here. I already miss being up at school and my friends though.

Tonight at church, this girl was staring at my brother the whole time. It was really obvious that she was staring at him. During the sign of peace, she took off to come shake our hands. She has no reason to shake my dad or my hand but she seemed happy to shake my brother's. I couldn't help but cover my face and laugh. My brother is too cute. I wish he would stop being so shy about it and go after some girls, but I'm not sure this one is worth it. I have mighty high standards for my brother so they will have to go through me first. You better believe I'll drive down from school to drill the girls. I just know he will have a girlfriend for awhile before I even kiss a boy. Haha.

Tonight I was going through my backback for my iPod cord and the ribbon Matt gave me fell right on top of my hand. I froze. Then I stood up and just smiled. I had forgotten I kept it. We had a great chat the night he gave it to me. I still keep it to remember his nice small gesture and the good times we had.

Tomorrow I get to see Jenny so I'm uber excited about that! She'll tell me all about the engagement and the plans for their upcoming wedding.. how exciting! Well, I'm off to sleep tomorrow away. I haven't got more than 5-6 hours of sleep the last few days so I'm definitely sleeping until my mom wakes me up for lunch.
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Mar. 17th, 2006 @ 10:10 am paradoxical?
I definitely think LiveJournal is the best journal system on the internet, but for some reason I stopped using it. I think it's b/c of the Kevin connotations. We had our journals that only us read many years ago and I had this one during my Kevin stuff so I think that is why I quit using it, but after reading Lyndsey's comment on my last one, I figured I would do this for her and my other BHC friends since everyone is coming over here since FF is slowly dying.

Don't really have much to say although I did come to a realization about something yesterday and I figured I would share it. Last semester I fell for one of my friends who is very different from me. He's done some things in his past I can't even imagine doing. He's much more crazy and is blunt and some of the things I can't be or never could be. I can't get into specific details, but he's very different yet he is a great person and a wonderful friend so that is what I fell for. I'm always a person who has to be in control, but when I'm with him he helps me lose that control. I don't mean for it to sound so extreme, but when I'm with him I let loose and just act without over thinking everything. He helps me be laid back and care free. I've come a long way since coming to college, but when I met him, that is what made me fall for him. He helps me be who I want to be, which is kind of paradoxical, but it makes sense in my head.

Well, it's time to go out to lunch with friends, then I"m going to learn how to knit and then tonight my girls and I are going to watch the miniseries, North and South. Have you seen it Dora?
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Dec. 9th, 2004 @ 01:44 pm (no subject)
I had a lot of free time and Lyndsey had this cool survey so i decided to fill it out. perhaps i'll be back with details about my life. but if you want those you should just go to my otherjournal. have a good one!

SECTION 1 [ YOU ]
+ your name: Kelly
+ your gender: can't really say male or female b/c gender is SO much more than that (just took a gender class)
+ height: 5'7"
+ hair color: reddish brown
+ your location: texas

SECTION 2 [ HAVE YOU EVER ]
+ peed your pants? i'm sure i have at some point when i was young
+ cheated on someone? never had someone to cheat on but i would never cheat
+ fallen off the bed? no
+ had plastic surgery? no
+ broke someone`s heart? yes unfortunately
+ had your heart broken? yes
+ had a dream come true? yes
+ done something you regret? yes
+ cheated on a test? no
+ been raped? no
+ broken a body part? Yes, my butt

SECTION 3 [ CURRENTLY ]
+ wearing: an old h.s. t-shirt and shorts (i'm cold!)
+ listening to: one life to live
+ chewing: nothing
+ feeling: tense
+ reading: Expecting Adam
+ located: in my room
+ chatting with: nobody
+ watching: one life to live and this computer screen
+ should REALLY be doing: whatever i want b/c i'm DONE!

SECTION 4 [ DO YOU ]
+ brush your teeth? yep
+ like anybody? yes
+ have any piercings? only in the ears but i NEVER wear earrings
+ drive? Yep
+ believe in Santa Claus? nope but i still get presents from him :D
+ ever get off the computer? yeah

SECTION 5 [ FRIENDS ]
+ who is your best friend? Lisa
+ who is the loudest? Jacob
+ who is the shyest? other Jacob
+ who is the cutest? Sam
+ who laughs the most? Lisa
+ who have you known the longest? Ashlee
+ who have you known the shortest? Julie
+ do you belong to a crew? yeah kinda
+ do you hang out with the opposite sex? yes
+ do you consider yourself POPULAR? people know me but i'm not popular
+ do you trust your friends? "That’s what friend are for…if I cant trust ya, then we cant be friends" ~Lyndsey
+ are you a good friend? yes
+ can you keep a secret? yes

SECTION 6 [ THE LAST PERSON YOU ]
+ hugged: Jennifer
+ IMed: Laurie
+ talked to on the phone: my mom
+ yelled at: i rarely yell
+ tripped: probably myself
+ turned down: uhh...

SECTION 7 [ PERSONAL ]
+ What do you want to be when you grow up? elementary school teacher :D
+ What was the worst day of your life? usually i say june 7th, 2001 but i've come to terms with that day.. finally! =) i think it would be when i found out rachel had diabetes
+ What is your most embarrassing story? probably the time i had my fly down at church.. lol
+ What has been the best day of your life? way too many to name
+ What comes first in your life? my friends
+ If you had an extra set of eyes were would you put them? back of my head
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? the people i love

SECTION 8 [ FAVORITE ]
+ Movie: the American President
+ Song: I Can Only Imagine
+ Group: Rascal Flatts
+ Store: Walmart
+ Relative: cousin Rachel
+ Sport: hockey and baseball.. can't pick one
+ Vacation Spot: walt disney world
+ Ice Cream Flavor: half baked by ben and jerrys
+ Fruit: raspberries
+ Candy: reses or sour stuff
+ Holiday: christmas b/c everyone is always in a good mood
+ Day of the Week: Friday
+ Color: Blue
+ Magazine: oprah

SECTION 9 [ DO YOU ]
+ Like to give hugs? yes
+ Like to walk in the rain? Yes!
+ Sleep with or without clothes on? with clothes
+ Prefer black or blue pens? black
+ Dress up on Halloween? grew out of that
+ Have a job? yeah, two of them
+ Like to travel? yes
+ Like someone? yes
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? side
+ Think you're attractive? i guess
+ Want to marry? yes
+ Have a goldfish? nope, i have two betas
+ Ever have the falling dream? don't think so
+ Have stuffed animals? yep
+ Go on vacation? yes

SECTION 10 [ WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ]
+ Abortion: absolutely against it unless it's rape, incest or the mother's life is in danger.
+ Bill Clinton: i'm sorry he was ever president
+ Eating Disorders: never let media or other people's opinions affect you enough to not want to eat. your body deserves more respect than that.
+ Suicide: easy way out. there is always help.
+ Summer: love it!
+ Tattoos: ewwww.. again your body deserves more respect than that
+ Piercing: ewww see above
+ Make-up: only to cover up acne
+ Drinking: i've come along way with this. i used to hate it but it's not so bad now. just always know your limits and never use alcohol as an excuse.. you choose to drink it.
+ Guys: very nice...
+ Girls: love them as well, just don't want to date them

SECTION 11 [ THIS OR THAT ]
+ Pierced nose or tongue? neither
+ Be serious or funny? funny
+ Law or anarchy? law
+ MTV or BET? MTV
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek? 7th heaven
+ Silver or gold? silver
+ Tongue or belly button ring? neihter
+ Chocolate or flowers? flowers.. i' not a big chocolate fan
+ Angels or miracles? eh.. who cares
+ Color or Black? color
+ Sunrise or sunset? sunset.. i rather sleep through sunrises
+ M&M's or Skittles? peanut M&MS!!! but i do LOVE skittles
+ Rap or Rock? rock
+ Stay up late or sleep in? BOTH! they go hand in hand
+ TV or radio? TV
+ Hot or cold? hot.. you can always stip, drink cold drinks, take a cold bath, go infront of a fan or AC. cold is more powerful than hot. when you have a tub of hot water and add cold water, it becomes cool real fast although if you have a tub of cold water and add hot water, it doesnt' get warm quickly.
+ Taller members of the opposite sex or shorter? taller
+ Sun or moon? moon
+ Diamond or Ruby? diamond
+ Left or Right? right
+ Vanilla or chocolate? chocolate
+ Kids or no kids? kids
+ Cat or dog? dog all the way
+ Half-empty or Half-full? Half-full
+ Mustard or ketchup? musturd.. ketcup makes me nauseous. i fear ketchup
+ Newspaper or Magazine? magazine
+ Spring or Fall? don't care
+ Give or receive? give.. it's the spirt of christmas!
+ Rain or snow? snow
+ Lace or satin? satin
+ A year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? definitely friendship
+ Happy or sad? happy.. duh!
+ Corduroy or plaid? cords
+ Wonder or amazement? amazement
+ sneakers or sandals? flip flops!
About this Entry
Oct. 8th, 2004 @ 12:58 am (no subject)
Current Music: Champagne High -Sister Hazel

i'm so tired. tired of the lovey dovey crap that is everywhere. i swear it is the spring by all the lovers around. everyone has someone and is practically married. since when is everyone so happy where love is concerned?! usually everyone sits around and bitches about it but not anymore. everything is hunky dorey with everyone. but i want to bitch about it. i need to bitch about it. but i know if i did someone would only tell me "you're time is coming kelly. your guy is out there.. it's worth the wait" and it very well might be. but with my past and  present i just don't see it happening anytime soon. and that is really hard considering the two guys i have cared for/loved are happily together with someone and proclaim their love on a daily basis. a lot of my best friends and friends are with great people so they're relationships are going to last a long time, possibly even forever. don't get me wrong.. i'm happy they're happy and don't want them to break up or be sad or anything.. i'm not sadistic. it's just that everyone is in these great relationships that they claim are going to last forever and i haven't even held a guys hand or kissed a guy. i've never had chemistry with a guy. i've only had one guy like me.. possibly two more but even then it's not much. i'm just so tired of it. when is it going to be my turn? what is so wrong with me that guys are attracted me in any sense of the word? it hurts to know i'm not good enough. i know everyone will disagree and that's fine. i'm just tired of feeling like a nobody or a loser while everyone else gets their dream while i'm still left wishing for mine.

perhaps, it will happen one day before i hit menapause or turn old and gray. and don't get me wrong, i'm not desperatly looking for a guy to fulfill my happiness or any of that crap. i'm content with my life and love everything about it. but while everyone is with their significant other, where does that leave me? that's right.. alone. i just want one person to put me first above all others. is that selfish? i hope not b/c that kills me if it is but if so.. well i can't be selfless all the time. God knows that. i'm just tired of it all and needed to bitch. i hate using that word but that's how fed up i am. i just want to know when my time will come?

"While your story is completed, mine is a long way from done" ~Sister Hazel.... and the thing that gets me is that my story hasn't even started yet.

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Sep. 28th, 2004 @ 03:33 pm (no subject)
i got a new journal and this is from it so instead of writing all of this again i just copied and pasted. if you want the address ask me and i'll more than likely give it to you. and remember, this is from yesterday..

it's so weird how you can want something and not want it at the exact same time. (i love paradoxes) but the thing i can't figure out is which one i want more.. to have it or not have it.. that is the question (what a cliche). but the great thing about this predicament is that i'm okay being stuck in the middle b/c i'm happy either way. if you want and don't want something and you get it, you're happy but if you don't, you're happy too. if only life could always be this easy. although this is anything but easy...

did you get all that? ha.. i know.. i like to confuse others and even myself sometimes. but anyways.. not much happened today. went to my three classes and almost fell asleep in each one of them. i actually talked in my media class a lot so that was nice for a change. CI was horrible but that was because none of us had read.. haha. if only the kids could know the whole story.. perhaps, in a few days. then research methods was the same old boring stuff. lunch was interesting and exciting, needless to say. i wont' go into too much detail but i just realized how much i have changed since freshman year. two years ago, i only looked and didn't act but now i can act and not be afraid anymore. go me! then i went to work for a little bit but then left early b/c i'm going to a lot of sessions this week so i don't have to sit at work and stare at the walls. the rest of the night i just stayed in my room and watched tv and try to write a paper. Everwood was great tonight. i saw so much of myself in tonight's episode. i love experiencing flow.. things make sense when i feel it.

and can i just say how glad i am that nothing happened btw. scott and me. he seriously is freaking me out. if a guy ever put so much lovey dovey crap in his away messages about me, i think i would throw up. God only knows what his girlfriend has in her away messages and profile.

not sure i have anything much else to say. oh yeah.. tonight as a study break lisa and i ate pickles with cheese. well at first i was just eating pickles but then she wanted cheese so of course we ate them together.. i didn't really care for it all that much. but i drank tons of pickle juice. jacob ewwwed the whole time but i think it's yummy!

*sidenote* i think i'm going to not even bother with BHC anymore. in the last month i think i have only gone to the thread 1 or 2 times. i just have not much to say about guys and don't have the time to post to everyone right now. but i will still read your journals and try my best to reply to them. i'm still here.. we're just going to have to talk online or through journal comments*
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Sep. 25th, 2004 @ 02:52 pm long time, no update
Current Mood: happy

i'm real sorry for not updating you all of my life in a long time. i have time but when i do have time i am just so emotionally and physically worn out that i simply just don't have the energy to type about my life. but life has been kind of rocky lately. everything is going wonderfully but i found out my grandma has cancer and is doing chemo therapy. it hurts me to know that i can't be there for her and that i'm up here 300 miles away having the time of my life, but i can't think that way. she wants my happiness more than anything and i deserve to give that to her. i just have to be strong and live my life to the fullest.


i have the best friends in the entire world. they amaze me each day and i'm truly blessed to have each one of them in my life. i've been hanging out with some new people this year and they totally add spice to my life. most of them are guys and that is something i have always wanted. the only girls i really keep up with here at school are lisa, michelle, alicia and my roommates. other than that, i only hang out with guys. they're awesome guys and they totally renew my faith in the male species. i don't like any of them and none of them like me and that is a great thing. i love not liking somebody. i mean sure i like two guys and would date them if they asked me but it's nothing like what i felt for scott. not even close. i love not having attachments and the emotional anguish that comes with liking someone. after being completely in love with someone for practically 4 years, it's a good thing to take a step back and be away from that for awhile.


some fun things i have done lately is free bowling with the guys thursday night 11-1.. so much fun! sure i sucked the first game but i honestly didn't care. i was having a blast that my 20 something score didn't bother me.. haha. then last night i went down to see kevin and go to our soccer game against them. we tied which is really good for our team b/c theirs is usually quite good although not last night :P it was such an intense game and i cheered my lungs out. three guys infront of us were laughing at me but i didn't care. stupid guys.. and i think they were speaking polish.. ha! then kevin and i went out to eat and just talked for about 30 minutes b/c we had the place to ourselves. it was so nice and i can't say how much it meant to me that we were able to talk like that, that he was able to tell me what he did. it makes everything i went through totally worth it. and i can't wait til he comes up here to visit me and hang with my friends :D


school is going well. i'm doing all my work and reading which is a change for me. i used to only read what i felt was necessary to pass the tests but now if there is something that is due, i do it and do it all. yay for me! i'm going to drop CI though which breaks my heart b/c i have gotten close to a lot of our freshman, but i'm just not up for doing all the work that is required of us if we aren't supposed to be doing that much work. it's just not fair to me but i'm going to keep in touch with the freshman.. b/c after all they are our kids! :) work is taking a lot of my time these days b/c career week is this week. yesterday jess and i had to do the bulletin board outside the cafeteria.. i think it looks nice if i do say so myself ;) SDB is going awesome and i had a great tour earlier this week. these two girls were from colorado and were really excited about the tour. usually the people move slow but i am a fast walker and they wanted it done soon so we raced through it but i told them everything. and afterwards they thanked me so much and gave me great comments on my review thingy. yay for being a good tour guide!


well i guess that is about it. i actually really like this entry and like how my life is right now. i am so happy and blessed. words could not even begin to describe =)


love and hugs to you all,


kelly

About this Entry
Sep. 1st, 2004 @ 02:58 pm the wonderful world of college
Current Mood: happy

i can not even begin to describe my first week back. i would be here all afternoon if i mentioned all the awesome things lisa and i have done already. here is just a list of the highlights:

~throwing water balloons on people.. one in particular.. haha
~staying up till 5am with Stephen and Andrew chatting and watching movies
~playing in the fountian all dressed up and trying to click our heels from the way back from casino night
~baker casino night being all dressed up and taking tons of pics with our awesome guy friends

~another great thing is being around my freshman in CI. we have a great bunch of 20 fish. they are so awesome and tons of fun to be around. i love that they come up to me and ask me a bunch of questions because they know that is i know a lot about.. makes me feel really good. they're just awesome.

the best thing is expanding my social network (haha.. just got back from work in career services.. lol) . in other words, making a lot more friends.  i knew a lot last year but this year i can't even walk somewhere without seeing someone i know and exchanging a few words. going through 3 different trainings really allowed me to expand and meet tons of new people and grow closer to people i knew last year. i no longer have to sit at little tables with only one or two people.. i sit at the bigger tables with a big group of kids. i know that sounds weird but i've never been really social but now that has all changed and it makes me extremely happy. and it's not that i know more people.. it's because these people are AMAZING people and i'm really happy and proud to call them my friends. i no longer feel alone and isolated.. i feel outgoing, wanted, special and happy =)

classes started yesterday and i really like all of them. research methods will be confusing and hard sometimes but i know some girls in it and we'll make it through together. i'm just so busy and have hardly any time to sit down and post on here. i rarely have any alone time anymore which usually is a bad thing but it's starting to grow on me and i love being in the presence of others all the time now. gosh i am so blessed to be here surrounded by so many wonderful people.                                              

 

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Aug. 29th, 2004 @ 01:14 am (no subject)
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: the prince and me
well i think it's about time i posted something. it's been one hella BUSY week and this is really the first time i've been able to be online for more than 30 minutes.. crazyness i tell ya. but i have had so much fun and there's never been a dull moment. i've met sooooo many new people already and connected more with people i knew last year. it has been amazing and each day just gets better and better. :D i would go into more details but it's 1:30 am and i'm exhausted and still have 2 more busy days to go before classes start. life is pretty wonderful right now and i couldn't ask for more =)
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Aug. 23rd, 2004 @ 07:38 am (no subject)
Current Mood: EXCITED!
well it's finally Monday which means in a bit i'm going to be heading back up to school!!!! :D i won't be online till sometimes Tues and won't post until late Tues night. have a great next two days! and yay for college! :D

Happy Birthday Ashley!!!!!
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Aug. 22nd, 2004 @ 12:41 am 1 more day!!
Current Mood: exhausted

a very long day in a nutshell... went to my 4 year old cousins b-day party, got my hair cut, watched some tv, went to walmart, church, out to eat and saw my good buddy ashlee, lots of shopping then came home. i feel like i've been going non stop and in some sense i have. my mom and i listened to the missions and they won by like 12 or something.. way to go guys! *beware guys* but i HATE bra shopping. i have tons of rants about this but i will spare my male readers.. if any.. haha.

i must say that i leave at 8 am on monday and i haven't even begun to pack which means i'm going to have one hella long and busy day tomorrow. and i'm too exhausted to even think about what more to say. my friend emily just IMed me and i haven't talked to her all summer which makes me even more excited about seeing everyone.. 1 more day!!!!! lets hope i survive the craziness of tomorrow.. lol

 

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Aug. 21st, 2004 @ 01:51 am (no subject)
Current Mood: annoyed

it's 2am and i'm still wide awake.. GRR )

About this Entry
Aug. 21st, 2004 @ 12:04 am a lot to look forward to
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Feels Like Today -Rascal Flatts

today i went to visit jenny at her university b/c it will be the last time i see her before i head out to school. the freshman were moving into their dorm rooms today and she is an RA so there was a lot of interaction. from the moment i stepped onto campus, i was taken back by all the hotties there. omg.. every guy was hot! she wasn't in her room and i had no way to contact her so i just waited in the hall. i got to see all the hotties in her hall and even talked to some of them. the hottest one lived across the hall and we looked at each other.. it was cute but then i found out that he doesn't talk to jenny and is rude at times so that doesn't make him cool in my book.  he seems to be one of those stereotypical football players from what jenny has said. what a shame. but then there were these other two guys.. dylan and josh.. they were so sweet esp josh. omg they were adorable. i thought i would be all shy with all those guys around but i was so outgoing that it was awesome. i was asking questions and talking without holding back. it really was liberating and i haven't felt that great since my lilly retreat back in may. i finally feel like i have nothing to lose and that i *can* put myself out there more. i might as well b/c i'm finally over you know who and i don't have any other guy holding me back anymore. i'm not desperate or anything like that but i'm finally ready to give the world all that i have. i've done a good job this past year but this year will be even better. i'm ready to explore my passion even further and get to know as many people as i can, especially guys. i'm going to walk up and strike a convo with derek and at least say hi. i'm going to do the same thing to stephen, james, and all the other people i found interesting at the retreat after a long summer. my life is waiting and i'll be damned if i'm going to sit by and let it pass me.

the rest of the day wasn't that eventful. went out to eat and then got the oil changed in my car. my bro also wanted to go to a school dance which shocked us all. but he didn't have a ticket so he couldn't get in.. stupid school. he finally wanted to hang out with the girl he's been talking to.. wow.. he's growing up so fast. lol. but we ended up sitting in the parking lot for about 30 minutes watching all the h.s. kids arrive.. it was quite funny and i felt so old.. even while visiting jenny's college being 2 years older than everyone.. lol. i can't believe i'm a junior in college already.. wow! but all that matters is that i'm a kid at heart ;)

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Aug. 20th, 2004 @ 12:29 am what do you think?
Current Mood: blah
so this past year i took a career aptitude test type thingy b/c i had no idea what i wanted to do so i needed some ideas. my top one was social worker and my second or third one was speech pathologist. well a few days ago i watched this movie on lifetime by chance and it was about 2 autism children and it really touched me. watching the speech pathologist teaching the kids how to talk and hearing the kid say his first word at like 5 or 6 really affected me. so then i got thinking back to the test and how one of my matches was a speech pathologist. and i got thinking about how much i could make a difference by doing this. i think it's something i would really love doing. however it is highly technical and i'm not a very smart person nor do i have a good memory. i'm a total psych person and this really doesn't have much to do with psychology. i really love psychoanalysis and this isn't exactly it but i dunno.. at least it's something to consider. at least i would only have to go to 3 years of grad school.. a lot less than what i would have to do for a ph.d. well anyways.. i'm just kind of putting the idea out there.

today i didn't do too much. picked up my bro from school and went dishwasher shopping with my mom were the highlights of my day.. lol. at least i got to get out of the house which passed a lot of time. i want to do something tomorrow but not quite sure what yet. might go see jenny, go to sea world, see a movie or do my usual and watch tv all afternoon. but in the evening we're going to my bro's school football game.. that should be fun. just have to keep myself busy until monday comes. it couldn't come soon enough however. i passed another university today and saw some kids moving and i got mad/sad.. lol. i wanna be the one moving in! haha.. i'm stopping now.

i really don't have anything else to say. nothing goes on in my life since don't have a social life but i will have tons to say come monday! woot! well i'm gonna go surf the net some more, watch a little tv, and then head to bed.. let's hope it won't take me an hour to fall asleep like the last couple of nights.
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Aug. 18th, 2004 @ 12:27 am survey from Mytra

i'm bored and need something to pass the time so here's another survey. if you don't care to read, don't click on the link. gotta love LJ cuts!

survey )

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Aug. 18th, 2004 @ 12:04 am jay harrington
Current Mood: content
Current Music: mad about you

this summer i got hooked on the show summerland. it's a great show and has an awesome cast, including the hot lead, johnny.. shawn christian (sp?) he is beaufitul but then they brought this new guy.. simon, jay harrington and i don't think i have seen anyone more beautiful. well him and shawn are a real close tie but jay is such a hottie and i found this icon thingy.. and it fits for my LJ icon!! isn't he adorable? *drools* haha. and i can not get enough of michael phelps.. such a cutie. gosh damn.. i'm so boy crazy right now that i have to get to school now so that i can finally be around guys! lol.. i'm so nutty and i'm never like this. what has got over me? ahhh!

today was a good day.. watched a lot of tv esp the olympics. i talked to lisa for a lot this afternoon which was great. and then jennifer! which is awesome b/c i haven't talked to her in a while. i also imed matt which in the end was pretty pointless but at least i made the effort. i just hate leaving things in silence.. even though i don't think about them, i just hate having something one day and then nothing the next.. not a good feeling. something he did say pissed me off though.. he said i lied in my LJ about the fight we had about me getting sexually harassed which i have never done. just b/c people see my side doesn't mean i'm lying. i don't type stuff in here only b/c i know people will back me up. i don't need people to back me up so that i will have conviction. i'm a lot stronger than that. and besides, i only state how i feel and see things at that particular time. but i don't have to justify myself to him or anyone, especially in my own journal.

my mom got home early which shocked me. apparently my parents were going to my brother's school girls volleyball games. she asked if i wanted to go and i said what the heck and went even though i don't particularly like volleyball. but i've been watching it on the olympics in hopes of seeing the hot polish guys so i've gotten into it. i actually enjoyed myself and cheered on the girls. then i came home and watched more olympics, then summerland, and finally amazing race. a team i really liked on amazing race got eliminated which sucked but at least summerland was good and michael phelps won 2 more gold.. woohoo!

5 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Aug. 17th, 2004 @ 12:14 am the olympics
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: on the way down -ryan cabrera

today was a fun day. i woke up real late and then went to see princess diaries 2 by myself. it was cute but not as good as i expected. definitely worth the 6 bucks and some fun time away from the house and everything. i came home and watched the shows i taped and then watched the olympics. headed to walmart with my mom and got a bunch of groceries. then came back home and watched men's gymnastics and U.S. got silver. it was awesome. we could have got gold but the guys were thrilled to get silver so i'm thrilled as well. i love the olympics. i'm trying to catch as much volleyball as i can b/c 4 years ago in poland i met 2 HOT polish volleyball players. they told us that they might be in the 2004 olympics so i'm trying to find them. i can't find their pics/names online so hopefully i'll see them soon. what sucks though is that they may not show it if poland does not play the U.S. but we shall see.

i'm just so excited about moving back to school in one week. i'm going to go nuts when i get to see all my friends. and all of them will be coming in on monday or tues or already there so i'm super excited. i hope my parents realize that i'm spending that time with my friends instead of them.. lol. and i must admit that i'm so excited to be around guys again. i can't wait! i'm afraid that i will find a guy and develop a deep crush again but gosh darnit.. i want him to like me back. i'm so tired of creating ideas in my mind. i thought scott liked me and then kevin. silly me. i just don't want to do that again.. set my self up for disappointment. but i guess i just have to keep my expectations down and put this in God's hands and trust in the plan. i'll just try to meet as many guys as possible and try to get closer to derek from last year. we'll see. but i'm just so excited about going back. thank goodness there are the olympics to keep me busy in the mean time

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